Too early for this...

But it sure is a beautiful site to behold, even for this despiser of Winter!

Cancer Benefit Raffle Repost:

REPOST for a Friend:
"I'm going to be holding a raffle for my Mom's benefit. She has had
cancer for the past 4 years. First in her breasts and so then she
had a double mastectomy then they thought she was rid of it and it
comes back into her bones. It then hit her liver. There was no more
hope for her recovering. So her brother contacted Karamono's in
Detroit which is a cancer center. Since then she has been
improving. Her cancer is out of her liver but still in her bones.
She's on Chemo every week but it has left her with several unpaid
medical bills. I am holding a raffle at my store for $1.00 tickets.
Everyone who purchases the tickets will be put into the drawing and
after 14 days I will pick the name by drawing from a hat/container.
So if you are interested please purchase as many raffle tickets
as you can. Each ticket is one entry toward that raffle gift. Thank
you. The ticket link is right here
http://www.cutiepieboutiquebows.com/category_68/Cancer-Benefit-
Raffles.htm

Please please share this with your friends to help the word get
around. I will have a special place on my website which will tally
up the money so we all know how much we will be helping her. Thank
you so much."

Ready or NOT....

...He Went...




...Had a Fantastic Day...


...and I Survived!!

I am Soooo NOT Ready!!!!!!!

It is really hitting me! My Beautiful Baby Boy, whom I feel like I just brought home from the hospital is beginning Kindergarten tomorrow?! Oh My Goodness, when did this creep up on us? How?! Sure we've had him in PreK the past 2 years, but he was still allowed to be a lil guy-right?

Kindergarten has changed from when I was a tyke, it's now the new 1st & 2nd grade. Oh My Baby!!! I don't want to let go!!! This is the start of the every-year-is-blurred-together-until-12th-year-graduation phase!

Slow down life, I want to get off this tour & enjoy the scenery! I want to pick my baby boy up without feeling like I am going to need a protein shake before hand & a masseuse after wards. I want to snuggle him in the crook of my arms. I want to nurse him again & hear his soft infant coos & heck even wails!

I can still remember the party he was throwing in my uterus. He is ready to take that party on the road. That boy is vivacious & energetic. I pray his teacher is ready for my super cool dude! He's one in a TRILLION! I've NEVER known ANYONE with the heart that he has & the thinking that he does. He is an AMAZING & SPIRITED young man! Wise beyond his years~that is a double edge sword for him, it gets him in trouble a lot!

He'll do great, he is a socialite & quite independent. He is sooo ready!~ I, on the other hand, am Sooo NOT!!!!

Gavin is 8 weeks

I can Not believe I forgot ALL day long that my lil man turned 8 weeks! He is such a beautiful joy in our lives. He is cooing & making such wonderful eye contact with us. He is quite the charmer & he makes us just melt!

*~Photography Friday~*

So I got a new toy, thanks to the recommendation of my friend, Amanda. I am strictly a novice aiming to become as close to expert as I possibly can. I love photographing my family first & foremost. I also love capturing the blessings found in nature & little things around us we may otherwise take for granted.

My goal is to display my photos & to receive critiques from anyone who wishes to help me out in enhancing my photography skills. I have ZERO training, wish I would've at least taken it up in high school. Even if you are a stranger, please chirp up, I will NOT be offended.

If you have any helpful hints as far as settings & such, please feel free to leave them in the comment area. I really am looking forward to learning ALL I can! I am very excited at what lies ahead. It will be interesting, I hope, watching as my photography evolves.

The Birth of Gavin

The Gav~Man is 7 weeks old today! Place your snacks down, here's the no-holds barred transpiring of events of 7 weeks back!

The Birth of Gavin



06.28.2008
2:44am
7lbs 15 oz 20 in
apgars: 8/9

June 13: 3pm Contracting pretty regularly go to triage was admitted to LDR#4 with nurse Sruti & told I was in active labor. I enjoyed my popsicles while laboring in the tub. Left for home around 5am contrax fizzled out.



June 17: Was checked that day & told I was at 5cm/ 70% effaced / 0 station. I was having contractions but not labor contractions called OB & told her what was going on, she had me go in. Another flop!
Found out later I was actually 3-4cm/60% effaced/-2 station. Shouldn’t have been made to panic & be on edge! :0/

June 27: It had been a tiresome & crabby day. I had indeed had enough of being pregnant & NOT being in control of my body anymore. I just wanted my strength back & NOT to hurt every time I move . I am scaring myself with how my surges of irritation can erupt from even the most minor of situations. My poor kiddos, how they must miss their Momma.

I had laid Logan & Peyton in their beds without problem at 7:00 pm sharp. Madaléna normally receives her one on one time from us when the older two are in bed. She was actually becoming crabby & was making moves to go to bed as well. Fine by me, I would go to bed too then! I grabbed up the Dora & Boots figurines that Madaléna has taken to. She loves to see my reaction when she gleefully says “Dohra!”

I ushered her to the living room to change her diaper & she could hold the figurines & keep her hands free from scratching her cute patoot! That poor thing is her bodily scratching post.

I was so excited for her to go to bed that I was tickling & nuzzling her with my face which took some mid body bending on my part. In the process of kissing on her, I felt a ’pop’. “Hmmm… wouldn’t that be something if my water broke?” I smiled to myself. I did some last minute straightening & led Madaléna to her Pack n Play in Logan’s room.

Just as I entered his room I felt warm water just begin to drip from me onto his hardwood floor. “Oh goodness, I shouldn’t have waited so long to go to the restroom.” I was going to go after putting Léna to bed. Logan was listening to “Our God is an Awesome God” on repeat. He was bummed when he saw me bring in his baby sister in because he knew that meant the cd would go off of repeat & have to play through to the end instead.

I told him “Now was not the time to worry about that, Mommy thinks her water broke & she might be going to the hospital to go into labor.” Logan had just learned the day before what that meant & he kept telling me he wanted me to go into labor so Mamaw & Papaw would come over & watch him & his sisters. With that very thought in his mind, Logan was happy & I quickly kissed him all the while unsure if I was peeing on his floor or dripping amniotic fluid. I quickly grabbed the phone & ran to the restroom. Normally my first call would’ve been to my Mom, but I had called her prior to laying the kiddos down & she was resting on her couch at home. I called my mother-in-law Donna, instead. She said it sure sounded like my water had broke but I still wasn’t sure. I just told her to standby, I was going to take a shower. Little did I know she was getting all set to come over immediately after that phone call. I called Chad next & told him it was possible my water broke. He would stay at work & close since he only had a couple hours left. I called Donna back & asked if she would drive me to the hospital to get checked & Pap could stay at our house & keep an eye on things here, pretty easy since the kiddos were all in bed.

I called Mom & told her I *think* my water broke, she let out a scream of sheer joy! I told her Donna was driving me to the hospital & Chad could pick her up after he got off work so she could rest some more. “NO WAY, I am going with you, have her pick me up too!“ just what I wanted to hear!!! I took a shower & was getting dressed when Donna called & said they were at my house. Ooops she was supposed to sit tight at home until I called, she didn’t even know she was supposed to pick up my Mom yet. They left to go get her & I quickly fed Timber & Sammie (the dogs) & got some last minute things together to get out the door.

We arrived at the hospital & I had Donna drop me off at the main entrance. She thought I was nuts insisting I walk myself to L&D. I was perfectly fine to do that, I had my washcloth in tow & I wanted to move quickly before I started to leak. I arrived at Triage & they immediately placed me in LDR #4 with the laboring tub. Nurse Sruti was to be my nurse again for the real thing this time! (Little did I know what a good thing that would be.) I changed into a gown & got in the bed to have my protocol stuff taken care of. I asked for the birthing ball & lived on that for most of the duration.

Chad arrived shortly after 9:30 & my contractions were not very regular yet. No Pitocin if I could help it, I was going to do things MY way!!! Mom was on her cell phone with my brother, Timmy & dad in regards to them flying to AZ to get a truck & drive it back home for Timmy. Drove me bonkers, I’ll tell ya!!! They went & it was the best bargain ever per Timmy. Enough about that…lol

Donna left about 11:00 to relieve Pap of his duties so he could go home to sleep since he had to work in the morning. Chad walked her to her car & came back to a very laboring wife.

I was handling the contrax pretty well, some had me in tears but I was controlled. Anytime I got off the ball, things became intense. I hated going to the bed to get checked. I also went potty a lot trying to go #2 to no avail. I knew I’d be in trouble later. Darn fricken grilled hamburgers, I ate two earlier they were so delicious!

They checked me again a little after 1am & I was still only at 5.5 cm. She had me go to the bed on all 4s & wanted me to rock & sway with my contrax to bring baby down !!! OMGoodness PAINFUL! NO EFFIN WAY NOT DOING THAT AGAIN!!! What the heck was going on-I was having major contractions. I gave up at that point & begged for the fricken epidural not knowing how long I would stay at 5.5.

Epi Brian came in & gave me an epidural that didn’t work worth shiztucky! I had total control of my legs & felt contrax just as strong. I laid down after it was administered & felt instantaneously like pushing. Shoot- I had gone from 5.5 to complete while receiving the epi. I pretty much shat myself & lost it~I never wanted that experience!!!! :***(

Needless to say, I was at 10 & complete & shatting with every contraction (fricken hamburgers) because the pushing need was so intense. :0/ Epi Brian came back in to administer more drugs while I was laying down & unbeknownst to me at the time, the drugs worked with gravity & went up to my lungs & upper back instead of going down. This began my turmoil.

OB Beining, finally lugged herself into the delivery room. They wanted me to push with all I could. I swear I had it in me, my body just wasn’t cooperating for some unknown reason. You have to raise your upper back to push & I couldn’t. You have to breathe to push & I couldn’t feel myself breathe! I begged for Oxygen & was panicking. I thought I was dying literally gasping for breath. I was dying & no one was looking my direction at all. My arms were flailing uncontrollably & I was shaking like a seizing patient, it took all I could to keep my eyes from rolling in the back of my head. What on earth was happening to me?!! No one was doing anything to help me, “was this normal!?” I kept screaming in my head. I was holding on to dear life at the same time wanting to be dead. “Why aren’t they doing anything to help me?” It was so very loud in the room yet so quiet. The loudness I heard was actually ALL the screaming that was going on in my head. I was completely out of control yet remained silent to myself.

I looked around the room at my hospital crew, OB included, (she was new to the group, I had never met her before). They were all just a very incompetent bunch. There was NO warmth in that room. The room seemed so dead to me, gross feeling. These morons were standing around smiling, talking quietly to each other & at one time rolling of eyes was seen. Couldn’t they feel the pain in the room, the lack of breath? How could they be so insensitive while I was unsure if I was living or dying?! Nurse Sruti finally had them place a monitor on my finger to ensure I wasn’t going to arrest. She seemed the only one in my corner.

At one point I stared at one resident Dr (Smith) after I saw her roll her eyes. She captured my stare & smiled & said “you are doing great!” I just continued to stare at her with a question in my eyes.

With every contractions I was doing my darndest to push, to end this carnival sideshow. I couldn’t breathe to push. I had a c-section threatened. They finally brought out the Vacuum Extractor & used the same device they had used on Logan to get Gavin out. That had to work combined with my pushing. It took multiple tries but I finally used all the adrenaline I could muster to work against what my body was enabling me to do & pushed my beautiful baby boy out @2:44am. He had broken blood vessels & a plunge mark on his head from the damn extractor & I felt so much to blame for being incompetent enough to handle pushing him out. I just cried & told him how sorry I was. The placenta came out very easily, not like with Madaléna’s birth, that was quite a painful placenta delivery.

I couldn’t hold him right away as he had had the vacuum procedure done & needed to be checked over to ensure he had handled it well. He did superbly. He cried & worked those lungs. He sounded just like a lil boy to me. I couldn’t even look at him due to feeling like such a failure to him. I had wanted his cord to stop pulsating to allow him all his blood nutrients to go to his body prior to them clamping it. That couldn’t be done due to the extraction.


When they finally gave him to me, I placed him to my breast, the staff seemed surprised that I would do that. “Oh, you are going to nurse him now?” "No. I want to be a complete & total failure to him, of course I am going to nurse him now!!” I ended up saying nothing & allowed my actions to speak for themselves. Gavin latched on & totally knew what he was doing, he is a champion nurser. This helped me immensely with feeling like I was allowed to bond with him, almost like he was saying “C’mon Mommy, pick yourself up, we got this-you & me!”

Sruti explained to me that the last dose of epi went in the wrong direction, thus paralyzing my ability to properly push & not allowing me to feel myself breathe.

I couldn’t urinate properly & needed to be cathed, why not add another unglorified procedure to the mix. I cleared a liter before it finished! Sruti stood there the whole time the urine was being evacuated. I had no control over my rectum & passed gas in her face twice, oh the horror! She was a complete & utter gem throughout it all & just made me feel as comfortable as I could. How comfortable could you possibly feel passing gas in someone’s face? Not once but twice? Well bless her heart for her patience & love she showed. I held onto it with all I could. I needed it after that birthing experience.

Sruti personally escorted me to my room 2415, the room I was in with Logan. It is a nice sized room off in a lil quiet cove in the hall. Snack room across from it.

This was the most difficult recovery of all my birthing experiences. I needed to heal both mentally & physically. Because of the adrenaline I used to fight against my upper body, it felt as if I had whiplash from a car crash. I was in bed for almost 2 weeks. At the time I felt broken & irreparable.

Happy to say, 7 weeks later I am doing fabulous & can actually jump on the trampoline without wetting myself (move over Hef's Bunnies)! Gavin is over 13 lbs & has yet to keep me up at night. I am indeed blessed!